


Kiss it Goodbye

by wordwinx



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-12
Updated: 2011-11-24
Packaged: 2017-10-25 23:29:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/276045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordwinx/pseuds/wordwinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam hated to leave loose ends unattended.  As he prepared to embark on the second era of his career, Adam had a lingering question . . . a promise unkept.  It was time to make some big decisions.  It was time to rebuild a bridge and maybe even burn a few.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Tim Stewart is a real person, a guitarist who tours in the summer with the American Idols. I do not know him or any of the characters in this fiction. This is purely my sordid imagination.

It was going to be a long flight. Too bad it was the wrong time of day for sleeping. Tim had already had second thoughts about making this trip. The audacity of Adam asking this favor both thrilled and tormented him. He couldn’t argue that he was doing this gig for all the right reasons. It had been an amazing experience touring with Adam and the idols all that summer, but only a part of the excitement had been about the music. Tim had personal reasons for wanting a reunion. The prospect of seeing Adam again sent Tim deep into a memory he had tried hard to suppress for a couple years now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim remembered the connection with Adam during the Good Morning America performance. Adam had arrived at Central Park sleepy-eyed but ready. He was dressed impeccably in skinny jeans, a crisp black shirt and vest. His hair was a pompadour that his fans had coined “Elvis style” without an ounce of sarcasm. Tim had an air of solidarity about him that read, “What the fuck are we doing up this early?”

Adam had smiled in return. “Okay, let’s do this thing.” At first Adam’s idea for Starlight was stuck in a bubble of his own imagining floating somewhere just out of reach. The pitch slipped. The tempo stuttered. Tim began to fear that this performance might be a disaster. He had never seen anyone as talented as Adam Lambert on Idol or anywhere for that matter. Being able to take this journey with Adam had been the greatest professional experience of his career. The past several weeks had been grueling for all involved. Even the band who had done this summer gig many times before had begun to question their level of endurance. Tim, himself, wondered if he would be able to stick it out for another season. The idols were all good people for the most part, but Adam stood out from the rest. The tour was far from over, and already, Adam had blown everyone away with his professionalism and aptitude. Tim had witnessed Adam’s generosity and strong will not to mention that powerful voice. However, time had taken a toll. Adam was clearly exhausted, and Tim was deeply concerned that he might miss an opportunity to dazzle a new dynamic of listeners in this GMA crowd. Surely the rock god had a limit. Perhaps he had found it. After a couple of awkward starts, Tim gave Adam a questioning look, but he made no suggestions. He knew the man resisted excuses. He seemed to have an even greater distaste for compromise.

Tim sensed Adam was about to lose confidence. “Let’s try it again.” Adam nodded and went into a zone. The audience was right there during the rehearsal. They were watching and listening but not too intently at that moment. Adam fidgeted with this ear piece. He closed his eyes and began to hum. He tapped his thigh. Tim only listened at first then began to strum his guitar softly, haltingly not wanting to disturb the fragility of composition at work. Then it happened. Tim caught Adam’s vibe and began to anticipate where he was going with the pace and the notes of this familiar tune unveiled in a uniquely original package. Adam opened his eyes when Tim began to play along more assuredly. Adam smiled broadly. The men connected. Their eyes met and they were caught in a moment of creativity that artists crave, an improvised jam. The audience was suddenly alert and cheering, but Adam and Tim were caught in their own world sharing a special intimacy in spite of the public setting. Adam was revived by the kind of joy only great music could give him. He gazed at Tim with heartfelt gratitude. He had helped save Adam from defeat. Tim felt exposed by his own affectionate smile and quickly pressed his lips together meditatively. His brows wrinkled and he began to study the arm of his guitar as if he needed to concentrate on the fingerings to get it just right. Adam turned to the audience sharing the delight of a song well sung. He and Tim skillfully repeated the performance for live TV several minutes later. It was even better than the first time. Tim gently shook his head side to side savoring the vibration of the instrument against his chest as Adam’s voice soared skyward. He simply stopped playing all together as Adam approached the flawless crescendo at the end and let him finish the song a cappella. The crowd went crazy with applause. With Adam’s encouragement, the audience directed their praise to Tim specifically. The special acknowledgement was unexpected. When Adam took Tim’s hand, it wasn’t a handshake but more like hand-holding, sweet and sexy. Tim hadn’t noticed anything particular about Adam’s glove earlier, but now that they were touching, his fingertips flicked what appeared to be an extra large thumb ring. Tim glanced down and back up. Adam was wearing a quirky smile then let go of Tim and boldly waved his cock-ringed paw at the audience. Tim realized what it was and chuckled to himself. He felt an almost subliminal stirring imagining Adam wearing the ring on its proper unit.

Tim was no stranger to sexual exploration. He had been a member of a semi-professional band in college. One summer they went on tour. Tim unexpectedly found himself in an affair with the drummer. He had never considered himself bi-sexual, but the attraction had been unmistakable. It was an awakening for Tim who experienced many sexual adventures on the road he neither regretted nor repeated afterward. Back on campus the fling ended abruptly and completely. That fall, Tim met the woman who became his wife. Long tours on the road put Tim in the position to be tempted, but since that wild summer, he had never again felt an attraction to another man. Then there was Adam ~ talented, charismatic, beautiful, Adam. Tim had a suspicion that this was going to be the last Idol season he would enjoy this much. He still wasn’t sure if he wanted to come back for a season nine tour, but at least he had a new perspective on the quality of his experience. No matter what happened in the future of his career, Tim had been gifted the opportunity to make beautiful music with a genius.

Adam and Tim continued to hook up on stage throughout the tour, venue after venue. Tim could read Adam’s vibe when he wanted to speed up the tempo or draw out the chorus. It was as if he could crawl inside Adam’s skin and feel his motivations to sing and to move. Adam loved to tease the band with his dancing. He shook his ass and rolled his hips unabashedly. He also blatantly flirted with the male backup singer. Tim was glad Adam didn’t focus on him. He wasn’t sure how he’d be able to stand it. Tim witnessed all Adam’s antics from a safe distance. At one point, Adam draped a blue feather boa around Tim’s shoulders during Slow Ride. The electric charge Tim experienced from that brief proximity nearly floored him. He leaned into it. In spite of the risk of losing his composure, Tim found himself wishing Adam would do it again. On any given night, the fans would toss various items onstage for Adam to play with. There had been several bras and the occasional sex toy. Tim usually spent his evenings and off nights with the other members of the band, especially the drummer and bassist. They’d been doing this Idol gig several seasons together now. Adam was often the topic of discussion. Everyone agreed it was a good show or a good crowd or a nice venue. It wasn’t long until they were talking about Adam’s set, but they carefully avoided the proverbial elephant in the room when it was rather obvious that Adam was enjoying himself up there. One night, the bassist couldn’t resist. Adam had whipped himself with a cat-o-nine tails like a pro. “I think Adam truly appreciated his gifts tonight.” The drummer couldn’t let it go.

“I think the fans appreciate Adam’s great big appreciation right back.” There was a pause and then the three of them bent double in laughter. “Brother’s got it goin’ on, and that’s all I’m gonna say.” Tim let them joke about the grandeur of Adam’s spontaneous erections on stage, but he relied on what the others deemed as shyness so he wouldn’t have to say anything. If required to speak, Tim risked revealing how fucking sexy he thought Adam was. He didn’t even know what to do about that, but he was becoming obsessive. Tim had drunk several beers at an after party at one of the very last stops on the tour and imagined Adam sauntering upstage during a grinding guitar riff. All of a sudden it was too hot in there. Tim snuck out for a smoke. He propped the exit door open with a brick. He had just lit and puffed when he heard someone behind him. He clacked the lighter shut, and Adam approached slowly with a cocktail in his hand.

Tim spoke first. “Not going out to the barricades tonight?”

Adam made a face like he was smelling something acrid. “Naw, fuck it. I’m sick.” By this time everyone had a case of tour-itis.

Tim smiled. “Right.” Tim leaned against the wall and took another drag. He lifted a knee but as soon as his foot rested on the wall, he put it down again. He felt like he was posing for Adam who was watching him a little too intently for comfort.

Then Adam lifted his glass making a mock toast in the direction of the scribble hounds somewhere around the corner then downed the rest of his drink in one gulp. He shocked Tim by throwing the glass forcefully into the gravel several feet away. It shattered with an explosive pop and tinkle that sounded almost like chimes in a gust of violent wind. “Whoa!” Adam spun around with an amused, holy shit look on his face. “I’ve always wanted to do that! Fuckin’ awesome! Have you got something I can throw?”

Tim stuck his cigarette in his mouth and patted his pockets all over. “Nope, not on me.” The trail of smoke made him squint. He flicked his cigarette butt away and began scanning the ground. “There’s got to be a few good sized rocks around here, though.”

He and Adam hopped off the concrete stoop and began looking underneath the steps purposefully. Adam let out a woot. He held up a chunky, palm-sized specimen that would provide just enough heft for tossing. He offered it to Tim. “Here, it’s your turn.”

Adam passed the rock to him letting his hand rest on top for the slightest moment beyond what was necessary. Tim noticed. He weighed the rock from one hand to the other warming up for a major league pitch. “Where do you want it?” He glanced over at Adam who raised his brows to flirty heights.

“Well, if I had my druthers, straight up the middle is always good.”

Tim smiled coyly and decided to keep the tease going. “Okay, here it goes. You ready?”

“I’m ready.”

“Get set . . .”

Adam was getting aroused in that wildly abandoned way that meant he was ready to make a move. “Just do it.”

Tim waited until Adam’s smile turned dreamy, then he hurled the rock with such force it smashed into several pieces against the alley wall. A shard came back toward them and skidded to a halt at Adam’s feet. He jumped. “Dayum! What an arm!” Tim took a look at his arm objectively considering its power. Adam took hold and softly stroked the muscles from wrist to elbow. It was a test. He looked directly into Tim’s eyes. “It’s all that strumming you do.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Tim pursed his lips sending out signals that made Adam’s thighs tight. Timing was crucial, and it just didn’t feel quite right. Still, the tension was palpable. Adam picked up a smaller rock and another. He and Tim deftly hurled every piece of gravel they could find down the alley. Finally, they collapsed on the steps totally spent, and Tim lit another cigarette. He offered one to Adam who almost took one.

“I better not. Gotta sing tomorrow.” Adam rolled his eyes as if it was a terrible inconvenience. It was such a bother to have be responsible. After a brief silence, Adam changed the subject. “Didn’t you play baseball or something?”

Tim began to nod in the middle of his drag. “High school . . . varsity.”

Adam was not a sportsman by any description imaginable, but he knew it was a topic that Tim seemed to enjoy. The tour was drawing to close rather rapidly, and he didn’t want to go there just yet. “What position did you play?”

“First base.” Adam wanted to keep the conversation light with sexual innuendo and asked Tim how many homeruns he hit. Tim smiled wryly getting the joke, but he turned pensive. “One. Just that one time. I got injured, my senior year.” Tim took a long, pensive drag off his cigarette, and Adam realized he’d accidentally stumbled onto a sore memory for Tim. He didn’t want to pry, but he wanted the conversation to continue. Adam had followed Tim warily, wanting to talk to him for two separate reasons. He always evaluated the situation before starting up a conversation, and when he saw Tim standing there smoking meditatively, he was without any doubts attracted. Since the first time he met Tim, Adam had imagined him romantically. He wasn’t exactly Adam’s type, but he was small with doe eyes. Surrounded by performers who made a living being larger than life, Adam was intrigued by Tim’s quiet nature. It didn’t take Adam long to confirm there was depth beneath the silence. They liked each other. As the tour progressed, Adam was too limited in time and privacy to “mingle,” much less explore. He needed a distraction from Kris who still, maddeningly managed to creep into Adam’s subconscious. Drake wasn’t there, and when he was, all Adam saw was a very probable failure he wasn’t ready to face. In a state of loneliness and insecurity, Adam noticed that Tim was looking. Adam decided he wanted him to look. He let himself entertain the occasional fantasy about ways to draw Tim’s attention. Tonight, it seemed at least some of his attempts had been successful. Adam hadn’t wanted their conversation to turn serious, but he certainly wasn’t ready for the evening to end. Adam wanted to keep Tim to himself a little longer, and he was genuinely interested in Tim’s story.

“What happened?”

“I broke my hand.” Tim held up his right paw and wiggled his fingers. Adam winced. “We were playing in the semi-finals. Everybody said we were headed for state. It just wasn’t supposed to happen, I guess. If you believe in destiny, it was one of those things. Anyway, the other team caught a lucky break, homerun bases loaded. It was a make or break inning. When I was up, I was trying to be a hero.” Tim chuckled bitterly to himself. “I hit one into the outfield, the best hit of my entire life.” Adam was smiling now. Tim’s guy talk was really sexy. “I should have stopped at a triple, but they overthrew the ball, and the pitcher missed it. I didn’t even slow down. I slid into home plate headfirst, and the catcher stepped on my hand.” Tim shrugged matter-of-factly. “It was an accident. I actually heard the crunch before I felt anything. All that adrenaline, you know.” Adam’s expression turned serious. “The ump called safe, and I threw up. I remember that. Then I blacked out. The next thing I remember was this huge snowball bandage at the end of my arm and the look on my Dad’s face. Mom was crying. They knew even before the doctor came in with the Xrays. I knew it too.” Tim didn’t finish. His cigarette had smoldered to ash.

Adam was confused. “Knew what? What?”

Tim was surprised. “You don’t know that story? Really? I thought everybody knew that story by now. That night was the end of it for me. My dream.” Tim ground his cigarette under his heel. “I’m the guy who threw away a full ride to Juliard for a fucking baseball game.”

Adam’s face contorted into anguish. “No.”

“Yeah. For guitar. I was that good.” Tim looked down at this hand, emotionally detached. “Crushed three bones across here, and these two fingers were just meat hanging.” Adam felt like he was going to be sick. “My parents took out a second mortgage on the house and sold the boat all to pay for the reconstructive surgeries so I could ever play again, at all. It was a year before I could chord.” Tim pulled a piece of tobacco off his tongue. “You don’t go to Juliard to chord.”

“Tim, you’re one of the best guitarists I’ve ever heard. You don’t just chord.”

Tim nodded at the compliment. “Well, I ended up going to college anyway, and I played in bars for fun. It took a long time to get my hand to do what I wanted it to do.” Tim caught Adam’s eyes. “I’m not sorry about where I am now. I’d rather play with a band than an orchestra, you know? I just can’t forget how it felt to walk into fucking Juliard, for Christ’s sake and be welcomed there. I felt like I was part of something bigger than myself for about five minutes.” Tim stretched out his hand again, to stop the story there. Adam was deeply moved. He worried, himself what he would do if the voice failed him. Tim had faced one of Adam’s own greatest fears. He took Tim’s hand into his own hands and held it tenderly. Tim wasn’t expecting the softness. “Can we talk about something else?”

Suddenly Adam remembered one of the things he needed to say to Tim. “Yeah, but you’re not going to like it.”

“Try me. Anything else is better than talking about my own stupidity.” Adam clamped his lips together and let Tim’s hand go.” Tim got a tightness in his belly realizing that Adam was about to be the bearer of bad news. “Are you serious? You came out here to tell me I’m being stupid about something?” Tim feared he had become rather obvious about his growing attraction to Adam. He wasn’t ready to admit it.

“I don’t know exactly how to say this, so I’m just going to throw it out there. I really don’t think it can wait.” Tim’s heart was about to beat out of his chest. The timing could not be worse. “Look, I think Allison is crushing on you.”

Tim was completely taken aback. “What?” His temporary relief that they were not going to talk about how much he wanted Adam, was replaced by new angst.

“It’s pretty bad.”

“She’s a little girl.”

Adam blinked. “Have ya seen the show? There are 17 year old girls and 17 year old women. I think you know where Allison fits. At first she was coming on to me a little bit, but we’re cool. Now she’s into you.”

Tim was bewildered. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. What the fuck?”

“I know this is a terrible time to tell you, but there just isn’t a whole lotta tour left, and I’m worried she’s going to try something.”

“What should I do?”

“Maybe nothing.”

“What did you do?” Tim realized too late the answer to that one was obvious.

Adam smiled. “Well, I’ve got the whole gay thing working for me.” Tim dipped his head embarrassed. Adam thought his sheepishness was adorable and kept going. “I mean, I can tell Allison you’re gay if you want me to.”

“No, that’s okay. It might get back to my wife, and she’d be devastated.” Everyone knew that Tim and his wife had had their share of troubles in the past and were currently ‘taking a break’.

“Oh really?” Adam and Tim exchanged a long look.

“About Allison wanting me, I mean.”

“Of course. I just wanted you to know so you didn’t encourage her, you know. I mean unless you want to encourage her.”

Tim made a face and started shaking his head. “No! I mean don’t get me wrong, she’s really . . .”

“Oh I know, I know. Just because I don’t swing that direction doesn’t mean I haven’t noticed.”

“Jesus, she’s just a kid. I wouldn’t ever encourage that. I care too much about her. I care about all you guys.” Tim looked up and caught Adam’s tender expression. Adam dropped his gaze to Tim’s mouth. Tim didn’t move. He felt awkward. He was ashamed that he had had to be told about Allison. Now that Adam had mentioned it, it was actually pretty obvious that Ali was crushing. He had played coolly aloof on several occasions during rehearsals and after parties. Even tonight, she had sidled up next to him and rubbed his arm before moving on to the next crowd of backstage fans. He had been thinking too thoroughly about Adam to let her intentions sink in. Watching Adam at these parties was so incredibly tantalizing. Adam laughed and touched people. He rested a hand on his chest or his hip and pivoted from one foot to the other so gracefully it made Tim take a breath. He took a breath again just now. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to kiss Adam, but he was bombarded with a million and one reasons not to. The most prevalent being he’d just smoked two cigarettes in about twenty minutes. He made a vow for the 623rd time to quit.

Adam broke the silence. “I care about you too.” Adam made the slightest movement forward, and Tim made an even slighter movement backward. Adam didn’t press. He stood up abruptly and offered a hand to help Tim to his feet. “We’d better go back in.” Tim saw it as a way for Adam to say they were okay no matter what. He took Adam’s hand to confirm their friendship. The gut churning regret of a missed opportunity was already gripping Tim’s insides as the door casually clicked shut. Then Adam stopped on the stairs and softly said his name. “Tim.” Tim turned around. “There’s something else I want to say.” Tim felt consumed by the timelessness of the present. He knew what Adam was going to say. “I don’t want to play cat and mouse, anymore. Are you interested in me or not?” Adam shrugged not wanting to admit how important Tim’s answer was to him. Tim swallowed hard. He felt the air itself expand to new possibilities. Adam’s vulnerability afforded Tim the opportunity for complete honesty. He took two steps down until he was standing just above Adam. Being shorter, the step made Tim right at eye level. Adam was so beautiful even in the glaring fluorescent light of the stairwell. His eye makeup was sexily smudged. His cheekbones glittered under the dramatic sweep of his lashes. Tim noticed how thin his t-shirt was and how it conformed to the masculine curve of his biceps. Up close, his nipples pointed just enough to notice. Tim was done in.

“I am interested, but I don’t know what to do about it. And, I don’t really know how you feel.”

“Then feel me.” Tim reached forward and softly scooped his hand under Adam’s swollen bulge and gently squeezed. Adam leaned in. He planted a heavy-booted foot on the next step up beside Tim. He grabbed Tim around the waist and moved him against the handrail. Tim inhaled deeply. Adam’s cologne was underscored by the faintest confirmation of smoke and concert sweat. Adam began to nuzzle Tim’s neck and groan a little. They were sensing each other. He moved his hips back and forth encouraging Tim to stroke. The pants were an obstacle. Adam unzipped. Tim didn’t need an invitation. Adam gasped at Tim’s assertiveness. Then he smiled and bit his lip. He whispered, “This is how I feel.” Adam put his hand behind Tim’s head and pulled him closer. He closed his mouth over Tim’s and slipped his tongue between Tim’s parted lips. Tim’s impulses took over. It had been so long since he’d felt that solid, gut-punching desire that only a salacious taboo could bring. He wanted this. Tim tugged and sucked on Adam’s tongue. Adam lunged for the wall as his need temporarily took him off balance. He breathed heavily out his nostrils like an animal. Adam repositioned Tim again. Tim liked being handled this way and climbed by fingertips up under Adam’s shirt. Adam slipped a hand into the back of Tim’s loose-fitting jeans running his palm up and down Tim’s buttocks. Adam broke off a kiss and bit into Tim’s neck making Tim stifle a cry. He deftly moved around to the front of Tim’s pants and took him out. Tim reached back to steady himself against the handrail. The sounds they made were small and broken. Their kisses made sharp echoes off the walls of concrete and steel as if someone were snapping their fingers to a slow tempo doo-wop. Adam’s hot breath scalded Tim’s jaw. Adam began to stroke him methodically as he ground his cock against Tim’s hand, but Tim was too crowded to get a good grip. They weren’t frantic exactly, just unchoreographed. This activity was becoming dangerously close to a full service encounter which would have been unwise given the public setting. They had both forgotten for several moments where they were.

Just then, a door screeched open and a blast of noises came tumbling down the stairs from three floors up. They froze. Adam heard two familiar voices.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” That was Kris.

“Just leave him alone. He’s probably in the bathroom jacking off.” Undoubtedly Anoop. The heavy service door double-clunked shut. The echo was followed by chuckling then footsteps and soft whistling. Adam rubbed his slick palm on his jeans. He and Tim were swiftly putting themselves back together again. They backed slowly toward the exit door and communicated an idea without speaking. Adam loudly shoved the handle bar on the door and pulled it shut as if they had just come in. He began talking mid sentence about the next venue. Tim jumped in and made a comment about how long they’d be riding tonight. Kris turned the corner in time to witness the two of them casually climbing the stairs just past the spot where only seconds before they had been sucking face and rooting wrist deep into each other’s pants. Adam was flushed, but that could be easily explained.

“Hey, where have you two been?”

Tim answered. “I went out for a smoke.”

“I just needed some air. It’s really hot in here.”

“Well, you guys were gone a long time.”

“Sorry, Mom.” Adam’s voice had a hint of mind your own business.

“Noop said he figured you were in the bathroom jacking off.”

“Which is not a bad idea at all. You wanna come, BB?” Adam wrapped his arm around Kris’s shoulders.

Kris played along. “Not right now, but you can blow me on the bus later.” They both laughed wickedly, and Tim honestly couldn’t tell if they were joking or not.

It was almost midnight when the idols began boarding the buses. They would be riding all night. Everyone was in a grumpy mood already anticipating a lousy night’s sleep. Adam always stayed back as the last one out. The other idols didn’t even question the fact that Adam would get the best for last star treatment no matter where they went. He was waiting for his handler to escort him from door to bus, when Tim came around the corner. They were alone once again. Adam’s eyes flashed. A smile curled his lip into a serpentine tease. He whispered discreetly. “So when can we finish what we started back there?” Tim hadn’t had enough time to think. He knew the tour would end very soon. The goodbyes were always awkward, but this time with this set of idols, Tim expected an emotional breakdown for everyone involved. He had no idea that Adam would be so passionate or that he himself would be so responsive. It scared him. Tim never imagined that Adam could ever hold a permanent place in his life, but after their brief grope on the stairs, he already felt possessive. He had felt a twinge of jealousy when Kris insinuated they might mess around on the bus. Even if it was just a joke, it worried Tim that he could become attached so easily. He was hoping he would have more time to sort out how to deal with Adam sometime later. But there he was standing at the door openly soliciting sex like a shameless streetwalker. Tim’s groin stirred awake. He couldn’t allow himself the indulgence. Someone was bound to get hurt. He shook his head.

“Maybe we should think about this, Adam.”

Adam’s expression changed immediately. He stared out the door. He frowned and huffed. “Seriously? You didn’t have to think too hard about sticking your tongue down my throat. So what exactly are you trying to say?”

Tim was alarmed by Adam’s aggravation and volume. He whispered back. “Don’t get mad. I just don’t think we should take something like this lightly. You’re just going to have to give me some space to sort it out.”

Adam was thoroughly pissed. He had taken more time to sort through his attraction for Tim than he had ever bothered to do before. The idea that Tim wanted to put on the brakes now that they had just gotten things going made Adam feel that he had been wasting precious time. He was really conflicted about relationships right now. His awkward attraction to Kris and the stalled progression with Drake had threatened Adam’s confidence. Approaching Tim was one of the boldest propositions he had ever allowed himself to make since he usually steered clear of men who were in a rocky relationship. But, Adam had already begun to doubt that it was ever going to happen for him. He had let his guard down. Tim’s hesitance seemed like rejection. Adam lashed out. “What if I’m over it by the time you come around in all that space?”

Tim tried to stay rational in spite of Adam’s emotional outburst. “Then it’ll be my loss.”

“You’re damn right it will be.”

Tim was getting exasperated. “You’re not even letting me explain. You always do this. If the answer isn’t an absolute yes, then you’d rather hear a flat no. Complete control or forget it.” Adam stared at Tim and squinted as he contemplated what he had just said. The handler arrived noisily.

“Here, let me carry that for you.” Then, Adam pursed his lips and shook his head. Tim hadn’t intended to hurt Adam’s feelings. He hadn’t had the chance to say he was afraid.

“Adam.”

Adam held up his hand to stop the conversation from going any further. “Look, whatever. Just nevermind.” He stomped toward the bus to join the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam and Tim did not repeat their encounter. Tim knew the next move should be his, but his own inner dialogue prevented action. The complexity of an estranged marriage and the reawakening of latent bi-curiosity had left him hopelessly indecisive. He also feared that once he let Adam in, he would never be able to recover when the affair was over. The only thing he felt sure of was the inevitable loss. Tim would not get to keep Adam, no matter what. It seemed that saying goodbye would be so much easier if he simply suffered regret of what might have been rather than suffer the loss of what he could never have again.

A chapter in all their lives ended abruptly with the last note of the last show on the tour. The idols hadn’t wanted to leave the stage. They lingered there hugging and playing. The band was making their exit as the roadies began to tear down. Tim turned around for one final look at the venue. None of them held the same magic with the lights on, just a big vacant lot. He smiled at the idols. They looked like a bunch of kids at recess on the last day of school. Then, Adam emerged from their group strolling confidently toward him. They hadn’t spoken privately since their conflict a few days ago. There wouldn’t have been much of an opportunity anyway. The race to the finish had been grueling. As Adam approached, melancholy turned his smile into a grimace. He practically plowed Tim over in his momentum.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, thank you. It’s been a real pleasure.” Adam was aware the others may be listening. So he substituted the words he couldn’t say with an affectionate full body squeeze. Tim was overcome by the pressure. Adam was solid, and he remembered Adam’s physical strength on the stairs. An instant replay of their moment made Tim ache. A simple pat wouldn’t do. He held Adam as firmly as he felt he could without losing his composure and stroked his back before finally making a fist around Adam’s neck. Adam turned his face inward. Tim could feel Adam’s lips on his ear. It had only been a few seconds, but Tim had already slipped into that timeless zone of present. He wished he could stay there forever totally intoxicated by the essence of Adam.

Adam broke the spell. “Will I see you later?”

Tim had to clear his throat. “Yeah.”

Adam held Tim at arm’s length. He whispered. “I’ll find you and say goodbye.”

Tim was breathless. “Okay.”

Adam turned away then stopped and reconsidered. He seemed uncertain but finally met Tim’s eyes. “You know, I think you were right about me.” He didn’t give Tim the opportunity to respond. The admission although vague was his attempt at an apology for overreacting before. Tim was profoundly aware that this was the second time Adam had shown him the rare side of his vulnerability. He wanted desperately to honor that trust. He would definitely find Adam later. He didn’t know what he was going to do or say, but somehow he would convince Adam that he did indeed want him. No one had ever so thoroughly captivated him. Much of the admiration had to do with Adam’s musical ability, that stunning voice, but the fondness was something else. Tim just hadn’t allowed himself to explore those feelings. The fact that Adam, apparently, shared that fondness created a complex web of angst and sheer joy. Tim busied himself with cords and equipment. He didn’t usually stay on stage to help out and realized he was getting in the way. He was startled when the remnants of the crowd let out a squeal of delight. He looked up just as Adam tossed his necklace into their grasping claws. He winced. Tim would have given anything to have it for himself.

Later out at the buses, Adam was never alone. He was the hub of a hug wheel. The idols just kept rotating in small circles embracing each other. Adam had his arms around everyone. When Megan got hold of Adam, she clung. She had already had too much to drink and made a scene. Adam tried to quiet her. Megan kept kissing him. He promised he wouldn’t let go. She was a mess. Tim realized he wasn’t going to get the opportunity to say goodbye. Allison surprised him. He was off guard when she finally made her move. She kissed him before he knew what was happening. He tried to let her down gently, but she got upset and rather loud. Tim had been right all along. This Idol good-bye was emotionally excruciating. He saw Adam board the bus and knew that was that.

After the tour, there were a few promotional gigs with Adam and Kris sponsored by 19 Entertainment and their family companies. Tim was hired as a set musician on one of them. Adam seemed restless, almost annoyed. There was a tension between him and Kris that Tim hadn’t noticed before. He wondered what had happened. He figured Adam was probably just ready to quit all this Idol shit and get moving in another direction. At least, that was Tim’s plan. He needed to move on. Adam caught his eyes across the room and nodded, but he swiftly looked away. There must have been nearly a dozen media interviews that day. It was over. Whatever it was, it was over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now Tim was enduring a 29 hour flight because Adam had apparently won a pissing contest with a 19 executive about hand picking musicians for tracks on his sophomore album. Tim felt only a little like a pawn, but once again he recognized the potential to be part of something bigger than himself. In the back of his mind, he wondered whether this invitation was strictly professional. He had only been privy to half the conversation on the phone. He would have enjoyed being a fly on the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It becomes clear that Adam didn't summon Tim to drop everything just for the music alone. He needed to take a step back in order to push forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this story is completely fiction. No harm is intended including real people in the plot.

“So what exactly is the hold up?” Derek asked in a way that implied he didn’t already know what the problem was. Adam saw through him right away. He was getting frustrated. Everything had gone very smoothly up until this point with Adam’s recording sessions. In fact, it was the most successful project Derek had ever had the privilege of leading. Adam had proven himself with the first album to be an extraordinary artist and performer. Everyone was so eager to work with him that there had been no egos up to that moment. Of course, it couldn’t last. Everything came to a screeching halt when it was time to record a ballad. This Tedder song was sure to be a number one smash according to Adam’s management team. Adam himself had reservations. He didn’t want to compromise his personal taste in order to record a radio friendly ditty. Adam’s vocal ability and tenderness could take the marketability of Tedder’s lyrical melody into the realm of a spiritual experience. Unfortunately, Adam decided to dig in his heels on one particular issue, accompaniment. Monte was unavailable in more ways than one. He had his own projects going on right now, and when he found out he wouldn’t be included as a lead guitar on all the tracks, it stung. He felt rejected and left Adam to fend for himself. Monte knew it wasn’t up to Adam, really. Still, when he realized Adam was open to considering other musicians, Monte felt it was time he start looking for separate opportunities.

The latest session in Ryan Tedder’s studios in Denver had run long. Adam would not budge. The studio musicians did whatever Derek wanted not what Adam wanted. “I want Tim.” He had often relived the concert in the park experience singing Starlight on GMA. It had been one of the highlights of the Idols’ summer tour. Besides that, Adam had other, personal memories of Tim that remained unfinished business. Derek underestimated Adam’s stubbornness. He still believed he might be capable of talking him out of a major inconvenience.

“Adam, Tim’s in Singapore. We’re going to use . . .”

Adam interrupted. “I don’t want anyone else on this but Tim. You’re going to have to get him.”

Derek smiled, but he was not amused in the least. “Well, you’re putting me in a really awkward position here, Adam. I didn’t want to have to bring this up, but Tim’s independent now. He only plays the summer tours. He’s doing his own thing right now in Singapore. What makes you think he’d just drop everything to go half way around the world to record a song with you?”

Adam didn’t even blink. “Call him.”

Derek frowned. “I don’t even know what time it is over there.”

Derek’s assistant Jill piped up. She spun her wrist over to look at her watch. “Uh, Singapore is approximately 14 hours ahead of us, so that makes it about 9:00 in the morning tomorrow.” When she looked up, Adam winked and Derek was glaring. She continued to be helpful. “I’ll call him for you, Derek. It doesn’t hurt to ask, right?” It was clear that Adam had allies everywhere.

“That won’t be necessary.” Derek still had Tim’s number among his contacts. They occasionally used him to record studio tracks for RCA artists. He was due back in LA in a couple weeks anyway to begin rehearsals for Idol Season 10 Summer Tour. Even though Tim had seriously considered dropping American Idol all together, it was simply too profitable a gig to pass up. It wasn’t as difficult to reach Tim as Derek had let on, and Adam knew it. Derek cleared his throat as the line began to tone on the other end. Adam turned away and looked out the studio panes into the hallway. If his hunch was wrong, Adam would lose a lot of creative leverage. He hated being a “yes” man especially to a dick like Derek.

“Hello? What?” Derek put his finger in his other ear. “Hello? Tim? Yeah, it’s Derek. Yeah, me too. Hey, uh, how’s it going?” Adam rolled his eyes wondering why people waste so much time with fake pleasantries. He looked at his feet. He was beginning to feel sick to this stomach anticipating how wrong this incident could go for him if Tim said no. “No, I’m not calling for Fuller. We settled the contract thing months ago. Uh, listen, I’ve got to ask you a question.” Adam held his breath. “We’re going to cut a ballad for Adam Lambert this week, and he has asked you to accompany on guitar.” There was a pause. “Yeah, I know you’re in Singapore . . . That’s who I had lined up, but Adam’s got a different opinion on this.” It was all Adam could do to resist grabbing the phone from Derek and throwing it against the wall. “Uh-huh. Really?”

Jill interjected. “What’s he saying?”

Derek swatted at her like a fly. “Shut up. I’m holding. He said he’d ask some guy. He’s right there.” Adam’s heart leapt. At least Tim was willing. That was an excellent sign. He tried to hide his excitement. He wished it didn’t matter so much. He was taking an unnecessary risk even suggesting it. “Yeah, I’m still here.” Derek explained to the group what was said. “They’re getting the head on Tim’s end to ask permission or something. I don’t know.” Then he spoke to Tim again. “What? Well, how the hell should I know what to tell them?”

“Tell them the truth.” Adam decided to play his trump card. He knew he had a fan base of listeners in Singapore, but he didn’t know if it had spread to the recording industry over there. If he was going to bomb, it may as well be nuclear. Derek looked at Adam like he had lost his mind, but the rest of the room began to smile broadly at Adam’s ballsy confidence. They didn’t know how anxious Adam really was because his eyes were steely in their certainty. Derek didn’t take his eyes off Adam. He wanted Adam to see that he would bring all of them down together. If this request was rejected, Simon Fuller himself would be the one who called next.

Derek’s voice was steady. “Tim, just tell them the truth.” It seemed like an eternity to wait. An assistant came in with a last call for coffee. She didn’t realize until it was too late, the tension in the room. “Thanks, and could you bring us a wheelbarrow for Mr. Lambert’s balls.” Adam held his ground even though Derek was obviously seething. The rest of them were too anxious to risk anything beyond stifled snorts.

On the other side of the world, Tim couldn’t help but smile imagining Adam standing there in the studio, arms crossed, feet firmly planted and unwavering. He suppressed his delight at the prospect that Adam wanted no one but him. If only this could work, how wonderful it would be to find his own name on the list of musicians on Adam’s CD. He couldn’t let himself feel anything personal about the request. His reception in Singapore had been coolly professional. They liked how quiet and unassuming Tim was. It suited their Asian sensibilities. His easy going demeanor and flexible talent had actually given too much creative spectrum to focus in just one direction. A friend of an old band mate had asked him to come along even though the objective was illusory. Was it a TV show promo, a commercial spot? Tim was game for whatever if the price was right, but it wasn’t long until Tim realized he was part of a brainstorming session only. He hadn’t yet established the trust that Tim felt was absolutely necessary in making great music. Now Adam had put him in a position to ask a favor of strangers. Would they allow him to respectfully excuse himself? Tim realized that his explanation would have to seem completely matter of fact and unapologetic. He decided that dropping a few names couldn’t hurt. “Simon Fuller’s assistant is on the phone. They are recording a Ryan Tedder song, and the artist, Adam Lambert, has requested that I accompany him on guitar for the final cut. I need to fly out as soon as possible for Denver in order to make it happen.”

At first the small, thin man was frowning trying to catch every word. “Please repeat. Who is the artist making the recording?”

“Adam Lambert.” A lithe assistant with a low cut blouse and a fussy bun whispered into the man’s ear.

The man’s eyes immediately widened, and he smiled. “We are big fans of American Idol Adam Lambert here in Singapore. If he has asked for you, then you must go.” Tim was stunned for about two seconds then just accepted the fact that Adam was big, bigger than he realized. He didn’t want to correct the man that Adam was actually the runner up. It seemed like an insignificant detail that no longer bore any meaning. All he could do was nod matter-of-factly and say thank you. The assistant began dialing on another phone. Arrangements would be made to drive Tim to the airport right away. The man extended a handshake to Tim. “When you return next time, we will be honored to work with Adam Lambert’s guitarist.” Tim’s chest expanded. He relayed the message to Derek.

“Okay then.” Derek tossed his phone dramatically onto the counter. Adam hoped he wasn’t visibly shaking. “It’s all set.” The others who had gathered to hear the news clapped Adam on the back. “When they heard it was for the mighty Adam Lambert, they tripped over each other to take Tim to the airport.” Adam sighed heavily and combed his hand through his hair. He didn’t need to boast. It would only undermine the reality of his unique stardom. Derek shrugged, a little deflated. “Well, let’s call it a night. I guess we’ll have to wait for Tim.” Then he took Adam aside as the group dispersed. “I hope all this trouble is worth it, Adam. If you’re going to make people jump through circus hoops like this, you’d better be ready to deliver the greatest show on earth.”

Adam adored a challenge. After tonight, he had fresh confidence he could turn the world on its end. “Just sit back with your Cracker Jacks and watch.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Tim got off the plane, he expected to take a cab to the hotel. Derek had made a reservation for him but had suggested he forego the luxury of a driver. Tim didn’t need VIP treatment. He was no celebrity. He hadn’t considered that Adam would be there to pick him up. When Adam saw Tim’s close cropped head, his heart thudded with gratitude. He couldn’t have been happier to see anyone. He called out his name. Tim saved big, broad smiles for special occasions. This was one of them. Adam scooped him into a hug. Tim’s beard felt scruffy. Adam was wearing a trucker hat and shades attempting anonymity. Tim could see Adam’s bodyguard over his shoulder. Adam bowed his head to give Tim a cheek smooch, but Tim turned at the last second. Their lips touched. Adam actually giggled. “Hey, you quit smoking.”

“I’m trying the gum.”

“Good for you. God, thanks for coming Tim. I mean it. This is huge! I seriously owe you for life.”

Tim downplayed the obvious enormity of this interruption in his schedule. “Ah, don’t mention it. Why did you come out here to pick me up?”

“Because Derek’s a tight ass, and I really wanted to see you. Do you have any other bags?”

“No, this is it. Easy come, easy go.” Adam wondered if that message had more than one meaning.

“Let’s go then. I’ll send Brett to get the car.” Once they were on their way, they suffered a long pause. Adam decided to break the silence with business. “This song is really good, Tim. I think you’re going to like it a lot. I just couldn’t imagine doing this track half-assed.”

“Actually, you kind of rescued me from the Singapore gig. We were totally stalled. I wasn’t connecting with it at all. I just can’t stand the superficial shit. I gotta connect, you know?”

Adam was nodding. “Exactly! On Idol I felt we had that, didn’t we?”

“From the beginning, Adam. The very first time we played, we had something special.”

“I felt it, too. You get me. I don’t have to explain anything or translate. We understand each other.”

Tim looked away. “Not always. I didn’t get it . . . back in Bridgeport, I mean.”

Just like that, Adam was back on the Idol tour saying good-bye even though it was many, many months ago. He sighed. “I’m the one who fucked that up. That was all on me, Tim. And, then we didn’t even get a chance to talk about it because I couldn’t get away from them.”

Tim made a pitiful face. “Oh, man, that was quite a scene. You were right about Allison, by the way.”

Adam’s eyes went wide. “Uh-oh, how’d that go?”

“There’s no such thing as letting down a redhead, gently.”

Adam laughed. “You know I’m a redhead too, don’t you?”

“Oh shit, I totally forgot about that. At least I’m consistent.”

“God, we were all a mess that night.”

“That’s for sure.”

“When I didn’t get to talk to you, I . . .”

“What were you going to say?”

“I’m not sure. That’s the truth. I really don’t know what I was going to say, Adam. I was hoping it would come to me when I saw you.”

“I’m here now. You’re seeing me now.”

“It’s been too long. I’m not gonna lie and say I didn’t get excited when I found out you wanted to me on this, but I can’t go back there. I’m in a good place right now, and you’ve got a good thing going too, right?”

Adam stared out the window. “Yeah, things are really good. He’s in Finland right now but only for a little while. He’ll be back soon, maybe to stay this time.”

“That’s terrific, Adam. I’m happy for you.”

Adam sighed. “I don’t want to screw it up, but you’re like this unresolved issue. I think about you too much, and I need to know what that was.”

Tim had to smile. “So, this isn’t just business is it?”

“The recording is legit. There’s just more to it than that.” Tim must have looked as concerned as he felt. “It’s not a proposition, maybe just an opportunity for closure.”

“I’d like that.”

Adam helped Tim get checked in. Tim yawned. “Go get some sleep. I’ll send the car for you tomorrow afternoon.”

“Thanks, Adam.”

“Welcome back.” Adam extended his hand, and Tim gave it a gentle squeeze.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim slept deeply. He dreamed he was looking for a drink, but he found only drops in the bottoms of odd vessels and fountains that barely trickled. He heard water flowing and followed the sound. It got louder and louder until it was a torrent somewhere just out of Tim’s vision. He found himself in a building pushing doors open and looking out windows for the source of the downpour, but it wasn’t rain or waterfall. Suddenly, Tim was in his own house. The shower was running full blast. In the heat and steam, he reached forward to move the curtain, and there was Adam standing under the stream amazingly naked, drenched head to toe. Tim awoke with a start and an erection. He put his hands over his forehead and pressed them into his face trying to talk himself out it. No no no . . . go back to sleep. This is ridiculous. Stupid head . . . stupid, stupid head. Tim rolled over on his side and pulled the cover up tight. He pinched his eyes shut. Adam appeared. Broad back, firm thighs . . . arms above his head, fingers lost in hair . . . glistening and wet . . . ENOUGH! Tim sat up and shook his head. It was no use. “This is ridiculous.” Tim said it aloud. His voice sounded defeated even to him. He lay back again. What the hell? This time Tim closed his eyes and imagined Adam on purpose. He replayed the accidental smooch in the airport but took it one step further. He imagined the kiss lingering long enough to get past the pressure all the way to tasting him. Tim slid his hand around his cock, and it twitched in gratitude. He saw Adam’s face soften, and the vision made him smile in the dark. The hug was too swift. All he really noticed was that Adam had lost weight. Slim but muscular, he smelled like soap . . . soapy shower. What would Adam look like jerking off in the shower? Yeah, that was going to do it. Tim could easily see it. Adam bracing himself with one hand against the tiles, letting the torrent beat against his chest. Adam keeping his eyes open because he liked to see the contrast of his short, black nails against pale, rosy flesh. Adam with his mouth slack as his tongue curled over his upper lip. Tim grunted. He licked his palm and got back to it, almost there. He finally gave in to his psyche’s desire and mentally climbed into the shower with Adam. He imagined Adam’s hands on him, then his mouth. That did it. Finally, release. Tim needed the sleep. He had a feeling the next day would be long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the drama from the previous studio session was gone by the time Tim arrived. Adam in a t-shirt and jeans was slouched into an oversized chair with his long legs thrown over the arm. He was barefooted and chewing on the end of a pen meditatively. As soon as Tim entered the room, Adam brightened. “Hey, Tim! Check this out.” Tim was afraid things might be awkward after months of separation, but it felt as natural as it had the first time they met. Tim listened to the demo track and knew instinctively he could make it better. When it finished, Adam was beaming. He saw Tim processing the chords and nodding. “What do you think?”

“I like it, Adam. It’s really good. Let me mess around with it.” Adam introduced him to the studio team. An assistant brought Tim a guitar, and he got started. Tim had hoped he might get to meet Ryan Tedder, but evidently, he had left for a couple days to preview a video he had filmed. He had made it clear that Adam had an open invitation to stay and create as long as he wanted, a “here’s-the-keys-lock-up-when-you-leave”offer. Derek’s assistant, Jill was present, but Derek himself was long gone. This was Adam’s baby now. Without management breathing down their necks, Adam and Tim played and sang for business and for pleasure too. The mixers added a tweak here and there until Adam was somewhat satisfied. Tim couldn’t remember when he’d had this much fun jamming, creating. Much to Tim’s relief, the sexual tension was greatly diminished. He and Adam were very much at ease with one another. Even when Adam touched him, which was something Adam did a lot, the contact was warm and friendly. Tim’s fondness was no longer edged with angst. It just felt good to be in Adam’s light. They took a break later in the evening to get something to eat. They talked a long time about their Idol tour then about the debacle of season 9 when they had to cancel several shows toward the end for lack of ticket sales. Adam shook his head embarrassed for them.

“God, that must have been awful.”

“Yeah, it was pretty bad. The kids were really young, and they didn’t have the discipline or even the slightest clue how to perform for that size of venue.”

“It seems like there’s a better lot this season. I noticed some good singers.”

“Yeah, I’ve been paying attention. I’m still not convinced they’re ready to perform stadium-style.”

“I don’t know if anyone is really ready for that until they do it.”

“You were.”

“I wasn’t as confident as I let on. I was pretty scared, to be honest. I wasn’t sure if they’d like me.”

“They loved you . . . everyone did.”

“Well, not everyone.”

Tim dismissed the haters. “Everyone that matters loved you.”

Adam and Tim locked eyes. Adam looked around at the crowded restaurant and leaned in. “I really want to talk about what happened between us.”

Tim was ready this time. “Okay.”

“Let’s go somewhere else.”

“Yeah, okay.” Tim felt a fluttery sensation in his chest.

Adam got a text that they finished the track and wanted Adam to come take a listen. Their talk would have to wait a little longer. They ended up back at the studio. Adam liked it . . . a good, solid LIKE not love. Tim could tell, Adam was ambivalent. His perfectionism was showing. Tim didn’t feel bad about it, but he was pretty sure, Adam would change his mind again before this track could make it to the album cut. The song didn’t seem that important to Adam anymore. Tim knew there must be some other reason for being there. The sound men went home. Jill asked if Adam needed anything. He didn’t. He told her he and Tim were going to hang out a little longer at the studio. Adam poured them both a drink, and they just sat there on the ample furniture for the longest time. Finally, Adam took a deep breath.

“This is really awkward. I’m sorry for dragging you back here, Tim.”

“I’m not. I’m not sorry at all.”

“I wanted to talk to you again, and now I don’t even know what to say.”

“Let me start then.” He had Adam’s full attention. “First of all, I don’t regret what happened between us, but it wouldn’t have happened under other circumstances. That was all about the tour, I think.”

“Yeah, I think you’re probably right about that.”

“The hours, the road . . . it just makes people . . .”

“It’s like you get really close even with people who used to be strangers.”

“That’s right. It wasn’t my first tour, Adam. This wasn’t ground I’d never crossed before.”

Adam bit his thumbnail and squinted. “I was really green, wasn’t I?”

“Maybe a little bit. But, it was more than some newbie crush. It was real.”

“It was very real. This wasn’t just a hook up for me, Tim. It never felt like that.”

“I know. That’s why it was so scary. You scared the shit out of me, Adam.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I wanted you, too. You need to know that, but it wasn’t the right foundation. Once the tour ends, things change, you know?”

“I know. I mean, the other idols . . . we’re still friends, but our lives have gone completely different directions now. I don’t see them. Even if I want to, it just doesn’t happen.”

“I knew that could happen for us. I didn’t want to start something that couldn’t last.”

Adam winced. “I was an asshole, and you were just trying to protect me.”

“I’m no saint. You don’t know how close I came to just . . . fuck it, just goin’ for it.”

Adam was smiling then. “I didn’t take it easy on you.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“There was so much bullshit going one. I was kind of a mess emotionally.”

“It’s none of my business, but . . .”

“No, that’s okay. I want to talk about it.”

“You and Kris . . .”

“Nothing ever happened. I know scores of fans would be disappointed to know that, but it’s the truth. All the time we were together, there was this energy, but we never acted on it. The little fucker was a cocktease, though.”

“That was obvious. I think he actually tried to cause some rumors.”

“He did! Every time we did an interview together, he would say something so stupid.” Adam laughed. “Don’t get me wrong. Kris and I will always be friends, but he pissed me off so many times.”

“It’s a wonder you guys didn’t kill each other on the bus.”

“You have no idea! The teasing would start, and then Matt would shove somebody. It was always Matt first. Then, Kris would jump me, and the dirty bastard figured out how ticklish I am. He’d get me down in a bus seat and go for my balls every damn time!”

“No way. What was that all about?”

“Well, it was a LONG tour, and we were all. . . tense. You know how it is. It’s not like you can beat off in a bunk without everyone knowing. We had to use up all that energy somehow.” Adam smiled softly. “You’re not going to believe this, but of all the guys, the one I really felt the most comfortable with was Sarver.”

“What?!”

“I know! I told you, you wouldn’t believe me. One time, Kris would not let up, and I was getting mad. All of a sudden Sarver just picked him up and threw him into a seat across the bus. He pointed at him, and called him an asshole like he was putting him in timeout. It was fucking hilarious.”

“Papa Sarver to the rescue.”

“Mike was there for me a lot, actually. Early on, when we got to stay at a hotel, I went down for a drink, and there was Mike at the bar with a beer. We just started talking, and not shooting the shit either, but about serious stuff. We had a lot more in common than either of us realized. You know, I was a big guy like Mike when I was in high school and strawberry blonde. If you look at my senior pictures, we could have easily been brothers. He was a singer. I was a singer. Growing up, he had to hide how much he loved music because everyone expected him to be a football star. I had to hide that I was gay. We had a lot to share. It was nice.”

“He’s the last one I would have expected . . . well, not the LAST one.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “Oh god, don’t even get me started about Gokey.”

“No problem. Let’s change the subject.”

“Yeah, you’ve probably guessed by now, I didn’t call you to come all the way from Singapore just to record a pop track.”

“Stranger things have happened.”

“That’s probably true.” Adam leaned forward to the edge of the couch so Tim leaned forward too.

“I need a favor. I’ve got a few songwriters interested in working with me. I have a lot of ideas for lyrics and melodies, but I don’t really have . . . I don’t write music. I’ve got a song in my head, but it’s kind of rough. It needs a bridge, I think, and the lyrics are sketchy. It just doesn’t seem legit when it’s only in my head. It’s easy for Derek to brush me off when there’s nothing concrete to show for it. As it is, he just keeps telling me we’ll get to it later. Anyway, I wondered if you’d help me get it on paper. I want to be ready to make a contribution if I ever get the chance to finish it. I’m beginning to wonder if they’re going to let me write anything.”

“I’m not much of a songwriter, Adam. You just want me to play for you?”

“And help me write it down. Would you? I know if I just sing it, you’ll pick it up.”

“Again, I’m flattered, Adam, but these sound guys could have done it. Hell, Monte could have helped you. You guys go way back, right?”

Adam nodded, and Tim noticed a tightness in his jaw that wasn’t there before. “Monte and I are sort of conflicted right now. Sometimes history with somebody can be a bad thing. I guess this seems kind of paranoid, but I don’t want them to have a copy of it. I’ve been burned by unfinished studio tracks before. This time, it’s MY song. I don’t want to risk losing it.”

“I understand. When you work with your friends, it really sucks sometimes.”

“Yeah, it does.” Adam shrugged uncomfortably. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore if that’s okay.”

“Okay.”

“So, will you help me?”

“I’d be honored.” Tim picked up an acoustic guitar and started tuning it a bit.

“Thank you. I mean really, really thank you.” Adam was up getting a pencil and a tablet of blank sheet music. Then, he perched on a stool and got settled. He looked young. “You’ve got to be completely honest with me, Tim. If it’s shit, you’ve got to tell me so. Promise, you’ll tell the truth.”

“I promise.”

Adam smoothed his hands along the length of his thighs, then wiggled back and forth on the stool until his feet were where he wanted them. He started to hum, and they were transported back in time to a sunlit stage in Central Park where Tim realized too late his heart had been claimed by a heavenly voice in devilish pants. Adam began to sing. “Oh, no where left to go. Are we getting closer, closer? No, all we know is no. Nights are getting colder, colder.” By the end of the first chorus, Tim had already joined in. He played along the first time through without writing a single note. He was mesmerized.

Adam’s whole face lit up. “I knew you’d be able to play it with me. What do you think?”

Tim sighed. “It’s just beautiful, Adam, truly beautiful. I don’t know what to say. The message, the melody . . . it’s really something.”

Adam was delighted. “Can we do it again? Only this time, help me write it down.”

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Adam sang it again, slowly bar by bar, filling in the lyric gaps with la la la’s while Tim transcribed the tune in notes on the tablet, a stanza at a time. After it was complete, Adam sang it through a couple more times, and Tim played more assuredly. Adam improvised a riff or two. When they finished, they were both beaming. They had done it again.

“YES!! We’re really good at this, Tim.”

“I’m gonna quit my job and just follow you around.”

“Yup, fuck it . . . I don’t need a contract. We’ll just play on street corners.”

“Put out a hat for loose change.”

“Good, honest money.”

“Maybe we’ll get discovered.”

“Start completely over and never sign ANYTHING until we know what we’re in for.”

“Wait, are you in trouble, Adam?”

“I don’t know yet. It’s nothing. I miss singing at the Cabaret and Zodiac. I was poor, but I did whatever the fuck I wanted.”

“They haven’t stopped you yet, Adam. Just put it out there.”

“Maybe so. I wanted you.”

“And, you got me. See?”

“Did I say thank you, yet?”

“Yeah, a couple times.”

“Well, it’s not enough. Come here.” He pulled Tim into a hug. “You know, we’d be amazing on tour together.”

“I don’t know, Adam. The long hours, the road . . . all those damned stairwells.”

Adam started laughing. “Those fuckin’ stairwells.” Adam held Tim even tighter until they were no longer laughing. They were just standing there in each other’s arms when Jill came in.

“Oops. Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I left my phone charger somewhere.”

Adam and Tim exchanged a glance. “Uh, that’s okay. We’re all done.” Adam didn’t like how his words sounded.

Tim stepped away reluctantly. He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. Adam reached out for him. “Hey, will I see you tomorrow before you go?” He didn’t want to be denied another good-bye.

“Yeah. I won’t leave until I see you. I have to check out at 11.”  
“I’ll be there.”

When he was gone, Adam returned his focus to Jill. “Derek’s not coming back, is he?”

She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “No.”

“He said I might get to work on this song I wrote.”

“Not this time, Adam.”

Adam was visibly disappointed. “Figures.”

Jill delivered the typical encouragements like a pro. Her comments were meant to appease Adam. Derek had trained her well even though it was the part of her job she liked least. She wasn’t ashamed that she had eavesdropped on Adam and Tim playing his song. It was better than the “new song” they went to Denver to record in the first place. Jill had a soft spot for Adam. She had been a fan since he auditioned for Idol. Once Adam had left, she made a risky decision that could cost her a job if anyone ever knew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Lane was going through Adam’s messages with him over coffee. “Who’s Jordan?”

“Who?”

“Jordan.”

“Jordan, who?”

“That’s what I’m asking you. What are we now, Abbott and Costello?”

Adam was amused. “I’m telling you I don’t know anyone named Jordan.”

“Well, he knows you. You’ve got a text right here saying to call him. There’s a number.”

“I’ll check it out later. Probably some fan who hacked his way to my cell.” Adam pocketed his phone, but he wasn’t able to put it out of his mind. Something told Adam to return that call, but it would have to wait. He promised to see Tim off, and that took precedent over everything else.

Left alone, Lane called the number from memory. She couldn’t help having a protective streak when it came to Adam. She convinced herself she was merely screening his calls not butting in. It toned three times before she got voicemail. “Hi, this is Jordan with Direct Management Group, please leave your number, and I’ll get back to you.” Lane cancelled the call before the beep. She was glad she was sitting down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lane didn’t know what to do with the information she obviously was not supposed to have. She decided to share it with Jill knowing that she too had Adam’s best interests at heart. Lane wondered if Adam had lied to her. How else did DMG get Adam’s personal cell number?

“I sent it to them.”

“What?” Lane didn’t think she heard right.

“I called DMG, myself. I know someone who works for them.” Jill was unapologetic.

“I can’t believe you did this.” Lane was upset not only about the deceit but also about the prospect of losing Adam, about the consequences making a major change at this stage of his career. If it got out that Adam was looking for new management, it could stall the production of his album.

“Lane, 19 is going to crush Adam. It’s already happening. He needs more. He can’t keep being an Idol, not like they want him to be. You weren’t here, Lane. You didn’t see him stare Derek down. I’ve never seen anyone stand up to Derek that way. He’s got to break out. He just has to. That song he wrote is brilliant, and Derek wouldn’t even listen to it.”

“Derek isn’t the one who decides what goes on the album. That’s not his department. Fuller has no control over that.”

“Lane, seriously? 19R, 19M one rubs the other in the right direction. I’m saying Adam needs an outside advocate. Someone to speak up against them on his behalf. Every department of 19 is in Fuller’s back pocket, and you know that.”

“Just because you did this, it doesn’t mean Adam is going anywhere.” Lane didn’t want to believe it.

“No, it doesn’t. But Adam would be a fool not to take the deal they’re going to offer him. You and I both know Adam’s nobody’s fool.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam made it to Tim’s hotel before he left for his flight. He wasn’t going back to Singapore but heading home for LA. They met in the lobby, and Tim had to chuckle since Adam was hunched under a long winter coat with gloves. It was barely 40 degrees, if that. He looked absolutely miserable until he saw Tim.

“Hey, Tim.”

“Hey.”

“All ready to go?”

“Yup.”

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to stay another day?”

“Sorry, the sunshine beckons.”

Adam made a pouty face as he removed his gloves. “That’s cruel.”

“Why don’t you come back to LA with me?”

“Tedder is coming back tomorrow. It’s a courtesy, kind of. Besides, Sauli won’t be back until next week anyway.”

“I bet you miss him.”

Adam groaned dramatically. “In the WORST possible way.”

“Oh. That sucks, Adam.”

“It’s awful.” Adam hid his face in his hands briefly then whispered. “He spoils me so, so much.”

Tim laughed. “I’m afraid I don’t feel too sorry for you when you have that to come home to.”

“I know. I’m just being a brat.” Adam looked at Tim long enough for him to feel unsettled.

“What is it?”

“Nothing. I was just thinking.”

“What?”

Adam shrugged. “I just wondered if you wanted to switch your flight and go out with me tonight.”

“On a date?” Tim was only half kidding.

Adam only half denied it. “Not exactly. There’s a club I’m going to tonight called JR’s. It’s a gay bar. They have a drag show I’m dying to see.”

“It sounds fun . . . and dangerous.”

“Come on . . . it’s not dangerous. You can keep me from getting in trouble.”

“Riiiiiight.”

“I promise I’ll be good.” Adam's body language suggested otherwise.

“You’re doing it again.”

“What?”

“Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I’m the one who won’t be good.”

“Oh . . . well . . . um.” Adam scratched his head, honestly contemplating.

“Adam, what are you doing? What would your boyfriend say?”

“He’d say, ‘Don’t do anything stupid.’”

“Don’t do anything stupid? That’s all?”

Adam was perfectly innocent. “Uh-huh. That’s our rule. We trust each other.”

“Enough to take straight boys to gay bars?”

“Enough to mingle occasionally in the right setting without losing control.”

“Why do I feel like I should say a silent prayer for JR’s patrons?”

“All right. All right. Can I at least take you to the airport?”

“Thanks, but I already called a cab.”

Adam frowned again. “I don’t like this good-bye.”

“It isn’t over yet.” Adam searched Tim’s face but he couldn’t read him. “Come on.” Tim headed down a hallway. Adam followed close behind. Tim pulled Adam into an empty conference room and shut the door. Tim reached out and clasped Adam’s hands in his. “I really want to get this out. There were so many things I wanted to say that night.”

“Me too.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and as cheesy as this might sound there have been only a handful of truly incredible moments in my life, and at least two of them were with you.”

Adam was visibly moved. He curled Tim’s hands up against his chest. “As  
a musician and as a man, you’ve touched me in a deep, deep place I rarely get to go.”

“In another universe, another life, maybe . . .” Adam put his fingertips across Tim’s lips and gently caressed his mouth. He bent his knuckles and stroked Tim’s jaw. It was no use resisting. They kissed, soft and slow, a gentlemanly kiss full of respect and affection. It soon became something else. Adam squeezed Tim’s shoulders and bent Tim’s head backward with the pressure of his mouth alone. Tim settled inside Adam’s coat and drank him in. Adam grabbed for Tim’s lapels and pressed their foreheads together.

“We have to stop or I’m going to do something really stupid.”

“It’s still there, Adam . . . damn.”

“It’ll always be there. I don’t even . . .” Tim’s phone buzzed and made them both jump.

“My cab’s here.”

Adam looked helpless. “Oh, thank God. Go, go right now!” He was physically pushing Tim toward the lobby. They started laughing.

“Okay, okay . . . I’m going.” Before Tim ducked into the cab, he turned one more time. “Adam, listen. Don’t take no for an answer, okay?”

“You just told me no.”

“I mean about the music.”

“Of course.” They embraced again. They had to.

“If you ever need anything . . .”

Adam smiled. “I know. Take care, Tim.”

“Good-bye, Adam. Good luck.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at his hotel, Adam wasn’t sure what do with himself now that Tim was gone. He’d have to kill time until the night . . . maybe shopping or a movie. He turned on the TV with the sound down. He took off his boots and propped some pillows against the headboard. He stared at his phone for a moment and scrolled the contacts list. It crossed his mind to call Sauli, but he knew Sauli would recognize something about his voice that wasn’t quite right. Nothing had happened. Well . . . nothing that qualified within their category of stupid. The idea that a man Adam admired found him irresistible was special and personal. Adam decided keeping it to himself would do no harm. He checked his messages. There was one from Lane rather cryptically suggesting he not acknowledge the stalkers and just delete the mysterious Jordan text. He had forgotten about it, but now he was intrigued again. Adam dialed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam gets two offers that catch him off guard. Will it be too great a risk to say, YES to both?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is complete fiction. No harm is intended to any real life person(s) portrayed in this narrative.

Just after lunch, Adam made the call to the mysterious Jordan. He deliberated whether to even bother. He didn’t want to encourage an overzealous fan, but it was probably harmless. It might even be a wrong number. Adam picked his nail polish. It rang twice.

“Hi, this is Adam Lambert. I’m returning your call.”

“Hello, Adam. I’m so glad you got my message.”

“Have we met before? Because, I really don’t know who you are.”

“We haven’t met, but I hope to rectify that situation very soon.”

“Look, you’re kind of creeping me out so you’ve got two seconds to tell me who the fuck you are or I’m hanging up.”

“My name is Jordan Hyatt. I’m with Direct Management Group.”

Adam needed a second to process that information. “DMG? The management company?”

“The very same.”

Adam was still suspicious. “So, what can I do for you?”

“It’s more like what we can do for you, Adam. I called to make you an offer to join our team.”

“I’ve got a management team.”

“And if you’re completely satisfied, then the conversation needs to go no further.”

“I’m not going to cut you off. I guess there’s no harm in hearing what you have to say.”

“That’s all I ask, just hear me out.”

Jordan spent the next several minutes going over the details of the management package DMG was willing to offer. Adam was interested.

“So what does this entail? Changing teams, I mean.”

“It’s a few weeks of paper work. If we start right away, probably summer before it’s final. A couple meetings with their guys and the attorneys. We will encourage you to bring personal representation too. Then signatures, and it’s done.”

“Late summer would put off the release of my album.”

“Yes, but wouldn’t it be better to create something that you felt was worth the extra time?”

“You said you could ensure me greater control of my career. Can you be more specific?”

“How does executive producer sound?”

Adam’s eyes bugged. “Executive producer of my own fucking album? Are you serious right now?”

“I’m dead serious, Adam. We don’t fuck around.”

“That’s a pretty sweet deal, but you can’t convince 19R to give it to me just like that.”

There was a pause. “Yes, I can, Adam. That’s my job.”

“So let’s say I sign . . . then what?” Adam felt like he’d found a secret door standing wide open.

“You start making your music, your way. And we send you a really tricked out fruit basket with mangoes and pineapples and shit. Whattaya say?”

“I want to think about it.”

“Of course. Don’t answer now. Take the weekend if you need to. I’ll call you back the beginning of next week just to see where you’re at and if I can answer any questions.”

“I may call you first.”

“I like that.”

“By the way, how did you get my number?”

“Would you believe an anonymous tip?”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“I didn’t think so. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.”

“Okay, we’ll talk later.”

Adam walked around his hotel room in disbelief. He straightened things on the desk. He picked items up and put them back down. He went to the closet and stared into it forgetting why he had wandered over there. Adam ended up at the window just looking out and beyond. The enormity of the offer was almost too much to process. Adam thought over what Tim had said about not taking no for an answer, and now he was faced with a huge opportunity for YES. Adam lay back on the bed and tried to relax. He fell asleep. He didn’t dream. His room was pitch black when he awoke. Night had fallen. He had planned to go to JR’s, a gay bar with a drag show, but now he contemplated whether to go out at all. He really needed to stop brooding in his room, but that would involve getting ready. If he were at home, this would definitely be a sweats and ice cream night. He wanted time to think, but he also wanted to get outside his head. His reunion with Tim had not offered him the closure he had hoped for, but he gained a new perspective that events in one’s life rarely stop and start, they merely overlap and merge into new ground. The call from DMG added a new level of angst. How could he afford the risk of changing management just when his new album was getting underway? And yet, if he didn’t do it now, when would he?

Adam had to silence his thoughts for a while. He needed a distraction and a drink. Adam dressed casually in a v-neck t-shirt and jeans. He slipped on the square leather pendant Sauli had given him. He went spare on the make-up and hair product. He didn’t want to be a rockstar just then, but a regular guy out for a good time. He needed cash. Lane always went the ATM for him. He realized that she may have known who Jordan was when she suggested he delete the message, and he was stunned. Adam didn’t want to confront her just yet. Apparently, she couldn’t be objective. He was running out of people he could truly trust. At the last moment, Adam changed his coat. He didn’t want to lug it around, and a lighter jacket was a layer he could remove at will. Adam approached the concierge in the lobby. “Can you tell me where the closest ATM is?”

“Yes, of course. Down this hall and to the left.”

“Thanks. Also, could you call me a cab?”

“Certainly, sir.”

In the cab, Adam took inventory . . . hair, breath, pockets. “Shit.” Adam didn’t have his phone. He’d left it in the coat. “Dammit.” Surely he could get a bartender to call a cab for him. It must have been his subconscious telling him he needed to put his worries aside for awhile. Adam relaxed. He held the pendant around his neck and remembered something else Tim had said. Were he and Sauli too flexible? It hadn’t started out that way. At first, they were completely a universe unto themselves. Paris and Bora Bora were retreats from real life, but once they settled into a routine in LA, they experimented for the excitement of it. One night at Mr. Black’s, Sauli got gorgeously drunk, and things got rowdy. A boy ended up back at their table after a spin on the dance floor. This boy and Sauli had engaged Adam in luxurious grind. Adam had laughed. Their bodies, small and lithe were almost ticklish. When they sat again, Adam gave both of them a casual peck on the lips. Then Sauli and the boy kissed each other. It had a profound effect on Adam, and he nodded at them to do it again. Sauli grinned and made it count. He didn’t care at all about the boy only turning Adam on. There was a lot of tongue, and Adam approved. He snatched Sauli up, and they left abruptly. They stopped in a parking lot nearby and had sex in the car. They didn’t speak of it afterward, but a couple weeks later at another club, Adam had stopped to take a picture with a few fans. When he found Sauli, he was making out with a cute boy about his size. Adam’s jealousy flaired. He considered yanking Sauli out the door, but when he approached, Sauli looked directly at him and kept on kissing. His companion was taken aback expecting to get clobbered, but Adam opted to watch instead. He let it go on for a few minutes then he pulled Sauli out of his seat. “Come here.” Sauli didn’t even look back. The boy watched them occupy a booth knowing full well it had nothing to do with him. There would be no question who Sauli went home with. Sometimes Adam participated, roughly kissing and handling some anonymous club kid. Their playmate was always someone small like Sauli. When they had finished with him, he was dismissed or they simply left him there alone to get his own date. It crossed Adam’s mind that they were being cruel, but he forgot all about it by the time they got home. Adam and Sauli would stumble through the door and make love on the stairs or the floor, not even harboring enough resistance to get all the way to the bed. The aspect of turning on each other and a couple lucky boys, plus entire clubs of gawkers took them to new heights of ecstasy. It was an occasional indulgence but not an addiction. They never brought a playmate home. That would be stupid. Hence their only rule: 'Don’t do anything stupid.' It was implied that sex would be out of the question in a public place, so the safety feature was, very simply, let what happens at the club stay at the club. They never questioned each other when they were separated for long periods of time. They were so openly devoted to one another, there was no threat of betrayal. Adam and Brad had had a similar understanding. They experienced a couple of group situations that Adam was happy to have been too drunk to remember much about. Although that relationship had not ended well, it wasn’t as strong as what he had with Sauli. Maybe it was too great a risk. They’d have to discuss it when Sauli returned to LA. He put it out of his mind for now.

Adam arrived at JR’s without ceremony. When he entered, he was greeted with a pungent slurry of cologne, Jack Daniels, and a whole lot of testosterone. Adam instantly felt at home. He approached one of the bartenders and handed him an envelope with four hundred dollar bills inside it. “Start me a tab. Let me know when I get close.”

The guy thought he recognized Adam, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He held up the envelope. “Uh, you know it’s half price night? Are you going to be here awhile?”

Adam just smiled. “I feel like sharing.”

“Okay then. What’ll ya have?”

Adam ordered a vodka with lime. He scanned the crowd admiring the shirtless table waiters. Everyone seemed friendly and familiar. Adam appreciated his current anonymity, but he didn’t want to come off as an outsider.

“Oh my god! Is that you?” Adam turned his attention back to the bar and the half naked boy with a tray.

“Hi, I’m Adam.” Adam held out his hand.

The young man shook it emphatically. “You’re Adam Lambert!”

“Yes . . . and you are . . .?”

“Oh, sorry. It’s Tyler.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Tyler. Do you work here?” Adam was spreading the charm extra thick. He sipped his drink. His smile was wide and sparkly.

“Yeah, but I’m really in college. I’m a senior.”

“Oh, congratulations.”

Tyler couldn’t stop gushing. “I can’t believe it’s you. I’m a big fan.”

“Aww. That’s sweet.”

“Shit . . . I mean, not shit, sorry. Can I get you anything?”

Adam held up his glass. “I’ll take another one of these in a minute.”

“You got it!” Tyler delivered his other order then handed Adam a refill. “They put this on your tab.”

“Thanks. You’re so cute.”

Tyler blushed profusely. “You shouldn’t sit up here by yourself.”

“Maybe you can help me out.”

“Sure!”

“Do you know those boys at that table over there?” Adam had observed them for several minutes now. They seemed fun, and three of them were severely handsome.

“Yeah. That’s Eddie and Kevin. Looks like Mark and Nate and a few of their frat buddies.”

Adam leaned forward to whisper in Tyler’s ear. “I wonder if they’d like me.”

“Fuck yeah.”

Adam pursed his lips seductively preparing to ask a favor. “Would you be a sweetheart and introduce us?”

Tyler puffed up his chest. “You bet. Come on.” Tyler would remember for many years how he had met Adam Lambert among the casual patrons of JR’s. Adam’s hellos were received with some pretty serious eye-fucking, but a group of waiters asked him for a picture before he had a chance to sit down. Adam obliged them, of course.

“Hey, Adam, you’re coming back to sit with us, right?”

Adam loved being the popular boy whose attention everyone clamored to get. “If I’m not intruding . . .”

“Fuck no, we’d love to have you.”

Adam winked. “I’ll only be a minute.” Adam heard pieces of what they said when his back was turned. Their attempts to whisper through their excitement failed.

“ . . . know who that is? . . . oh my god . . . no shit . . . What’s a guy like him . . . fuuuuck me.”

Adam pulled Tyler aside. “After the picture, will you take them a round on me?”

“It’s Jerry’s table, but we all split tips on Thursdays, so I don’t think he’ll mind.”

Adam squeezed his hand. “Thanks. You’re taking such good care of me.” Tyler prayed he wasn’t leaving visible wet spots through his jeans. It took Adam fifteen minutes to get back to the table. Several patrons saw them taking a picture and wanted to meet the super star. Surprisingly, they were very tame about it. They praised his run on Idol, loved the album, saw the tour, etc. A few wanted autographs which Adam was happy to give, but some of them attempted to engage him in lengthy conversations about courage and tolerance which seemed ridiculous over the din of loud music and random toasts nearby. Adam appreciated their honesty and valued his impact, but tonight he really wanted to forget his role as a pop artist/gay activist and just have a fucking drink with some pretty, pretty boys.

Tyler approached him for the rescue. “Mr. Lambert, your table is waiting.”

“Why thank you.” He turned to the small group huddled around him. “I’m so sorry. Will you all excuse me?” He put his hand in the bend of Tyler’s arm and let his lips brush Tyler’s ear. “You’re so smart. That was fucking brilliant.”

Tyler stalled at the edge of the dance floor. “I’d do anything for you . . . anything.” Tyler nervously glanced down and back up again. “Whatever you want . . . I’ll do it.”

Adam smiled politely realizing he’d taken it too far. He didn’t think his casual flirting would be interpreted as an all out come on, but this young man was obviously making an offer. “You’re doing it. You’ve made me feel like a million bucks tonight.”

Tyler covered his disappointment with a shrug. “No problem. Right this way.”

Adam wanted to say something, but Tyler refused to make eye contact. He didn’t speak to Adam again. When they reached the table, the boys all cheered. “Adam!”

Adam’s lilting laugh was contagious. “Oh, my goodness. You sure know how to make a boy feel welcome.”

“What the fuck is someone like you doing here?”

“Well, I heard the booze is cheap, the shows are crude, and the boys are shirtless.”

They cheered again. “You’re in the right place.” They toasted with raucous clinks of glassware. Adam’s drink sloshed onto his hand.

He sputtered playfully at the spill. “Oops! So, Tyler was going to introduce you to me, but I think he forgot.”

“I think he’s probably changing his underwear.”

Adam turned to the speaker beside him. “Oh, that’s not nice.”

“Well, you know what they say about nice guys.”

The table chided in unison. “Nice guys would rather give than receive . . . Thank fuck!”

Adam laughed. “I’ll toast to that.”

Adam’s neighbor offered his hand. “Hi, I’m Eddie. This is my partner Kevin. That’s Nate, Mark, and David. He’s our designated driver.” David held up his Coke.

“Hey, good for you, David.”

Eddie continued to point around the table and each young man nodded or waved as Eddie said his name. What followed was a rapid fire inquisition of Adam’s current activities and engagements. They wanted the inside scoop. Eddie apologized for them. “We don’t get a lot of celebrities around here this time of year unless they’re skiing. Most of them settle way over in Aspen, but we get a few occasionally who stay closer at Breckenridge.”

“I’ve never been skiing. I’m not much of a sportsman.” Adam’s mouth made a lovely grimace. “When I go on vacation, I want it warm . . . hot even.”

“I bet it gets hot wherever you go.”

“Oh . . . all righty then.” Adam snorted at the lame joke.

“Eddie, you’re such a fuckin’ whore. Shut . . . up. Kevin can’t you do something with him?” Kevin was the silent type. He gave Adam a long look and took another drink.

Eddie was unfazed. “It’s a good thing you came this week instead of later.”

“Why is that?” The entire table went completely silent and stared. Adam looked around at their disbelieving faces. “What? What’s coming later?”

Nate was dumbfounded. “March fuckin’ Madness, Adam.”

“Oh! That’s basketball, right?” The boys gaped embarrassed for him. “Sorry, guys, it’s not my thing. Will your team get to play?”

The entire table huffed. “The Pioneers? Not likely.”

Eddie filled him in. “Our track record is better in hockey and football, but we host invitationals here in Denver. The final four will kick off at the Pepsi Center this season.”

“Oh that’s important, right?” Adam tried to sound impressed, but he couldn’t care less. He let them talk, and appreciated the eye candy. Finally Eddie changed the subject.

“Are we going to Charlie’s later?”

Nate had his own ideas. “Let’s go to the Wrangler this time!”

“Ewwwww, no way.”

“The Wrangler is totally awesome!”

“Sure, if you like line dancing and piss.”

Adam joined in. “You mean their bathrooms or their drinks?”

“Ha Ha . . . both!”

“It’s 3 2 1 night, though. Wait is it Thursday? Yeah, it’s Thursday.” He repeated himself. “It’s 3 2 1 night!”

Adam was amused. “Does he always have conversations with himself?”

“Yeah, that’s not all he does by himself.”

“Fuck you.” Nate pumped his middle finger in Eddie’s direction. “The guys at the Wrangler aren’t stuck up like some people I know.”

“Getting felt up by big, hairy fat guys is not my idea of flattery.”

Adam interjected. “Oh, I don’t like bear bars.”

Mark pointed at Adam. “See, he’s never been there, and he knows.”

“So, it’s Charlie’s then?”

“Yeah, after the show.”

Mark was just a friend of Nate’s apparently. “Stop pouting. If I don’t hook up at Charlie’s I will personally drop your ass off at the Wrangler. All right?”

He shrugged. “I guess so.”

Adam hadn’t considered bar hopping tonight, but apparently that was the order of operations on Thursdays . . . sports and hookups. Adam had almost forgotten his first reason for coming, the drag show. It began rather abruptly with an energetic introduction and a dimming of the lights. Adam enjoyed it. It was amateur but entertaining. Although, the make-up and costumes were spot on, he missed the androgynous quality he loved so much about queens like his friend Raja. Still, Adam genuinely laughed at their stand up routines. Their bawdy sass made up for the lack of feminine mystique. Adam couldn’t help but try on some of their facial expressions in the dark. At one point, he noticed Kevin was staring. He smiled, but when Kevin kept staring, Adam looked away. He greeted the queens when it was time to mingle. Several of the performers wanted pictures with Adam. They called him honey and pinched his bottom. They dabbed their eyes hoping their tearful joy wouldn’t smudge their make-up. He bought rounds of drinks for the tables where he was invited to sit for a minute. After a trip to the men’s room, Adam found himself drawn back to the original table. Nate, Mark, and the other college boys had already left. Eddie, Kevin, and David were waiting for him.

“Hey, Adam, we're headed over to Charlie’s. Do you want to come?”

"Where's the other guys?"

"Nate was still whining about the Wrangler, so they're going there first."

Adam hesitated. “I don’t know. Maybe I should just call it a night.”

“Come on. It’s early yet.”

“What’s this Charlie’s place like?”

“It’s darker, hotter, louder . . . you’ll love it. Lots and lots of sexy boys. You can’t say no.”

“Well, when you put it like that, how can I resist?”

“That’s the spirit.”

“Is it far?”

Eddie and Kevin exchanged a look. “No, it’s not far. David will drive us.”

When they got outside, Adam immediately shivered. He wasn’t used to the arctic Colorado air. This time of year, LA was already headed toward spring. Coming from the warmth of JR’s, Adam bundled his scarf under his chin and ducked his head against the wind. He didn’t look up until Kevin opened the door. Adam took a step back. “What the fuck? Is this a Hummer?”

“Yeah, cool huh?”

“Is it yours?”

“It’s David’s. Get in, I’m freezing.” Eddie and Kevin weren’t wearing jackets at all. Adam found that ridiculous. He climbed into the back and spun around to sit. Before he could scooch toward the door, Eddie crossed over. He made the most of invading Adam’s space and clumsily tripped onto his lap.

Adam was good-natured. “Uh-oh. You okay?”

“Oops, sorry.” He slid into his own spot. Kevin said something to David through the driver’s window then jumped in and shut the door. They sandwiched Adam in between them. It was cozy but not crowded. Adam thought their fanboy attention was adorable. They were moving. The street lights periodically illumined the interior preventing Adam’s eyes from fully adjusting to the night. After the playful conversation at the bar, this new proximity afforded only an awkward silence. Adam wished the radio was on. He caught David eyeing him in the rear view mirror.

“You cold?” Eddie was still doing all the talking.

“Yeah, a little bit.”

“Just be glad there isn’t a foot of snow on the ground.”

“Right.”

Eddie put his arm around Adam. “Maybe me and Kevin can warm you up.”

“Such gentlemen.” Adam was actually a little uncomfortable now, but he didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

“You like the Hummer?”

“Yeah, it’s nice. I wouldn’t want to park this thing in LA, but it’s a fun ride.”

“I bet you get to take a lot of fun rides.”

“I guess so . . . a few.” Adam tried to squish his shoulders in. It was one thing to be the life of the party, but it was quite another to be the center of attention in the back seat of a car. “It’s not all glamour. I still pump my own gas.”

“That’s what’s so cool about you, Adam. You’ve got this great celebrity career, but deep down, you’re really just one of us guys.”

“Well, thanks.” Adam’s buzz couldn’t dull his nervousness. He looked over at Kevin. “Is he always this flirty?”

Kevin placed a strand of Adam’s hair back where it belonged. Adam smiled quizzically then turned to see what Eddie thought of that, but he didn’t get an opportunity to focus. Eddie was too close. He kissed Adam tentatively. Kevin rubbed Adam’s arm. “Whoa, guys, wait.”

“Come on, Adam. It’s just for fun. We like you.”

“I don’t know about this.” Adam looked out the windshield. They had crossed several streets, and he wasn’t keeping track of the turns. He didn’t have his phone. Adam got a twinge of panic. He couldn’t demand they pull over and let him out when he had no idea where he was.

Kevin spoke his first words all night. “Dammit, we scared him.” Kevin gave Eddie’s shoulder a reproachful shove.

“Don’t be scared, Adam, we’re just horny.” Eddie laughed and leaned over Adam’s lap to kiss Kevin. Adam tried to back up, but there was no room to get out of their way. He couldn’t stop looking. They used Adam’s knees for leverage. Their lips twisted open revealing the undersides of their tongues. It was 3-D porn right in front of his face. Adam was turned on. Eddie could tell. “You like to watch, don’t you?” Adam inhaled sharply in reply, and they kissed him on his cheeks. Kevin pulled Adam’s jacket open and licked him just above the collarbone. Adam arched his neck away from the wet pressure. Eddie was there to claim his lips. Kevin worked his hand under Adam’s t-shirt rucking it up above his waist. Adam turned his head, and Kevin took his turn with Adam’s mouth and chest. Eddie found a lower place of interest.

“Oh, god! You guys, I . . . this is . . .” Adam’s heart was racing.

“Don’t think, Adam. Relax . . . just let us.” Eddie had already had his hand on it. He wasn’t going to give up easily.

Adam hesitated a little too long to effectively protest. Adam's sensibilities were compromised by alcohol. This was dangerous and decadent. Kevin was desperate to have Adam’s mouth back. He didn’t give him more than a second before he tilted Adam’s chin up and teased him open again. This time Adam kissed back. Eddie squeezed Adam’s thigh and pulled his knee to the side. He unfastened Adam’s fly. “Sweet Jesus.” Eddie wasn’t expecting that. “Kev . . .”

Kevin looked. “Wow.” Adam leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes as the two of them pulled his waistband under his hips. Eddie smoothed the length of Adam’s cock with his fingertips, admiring it like a work of art. They both gazed at Adam reclined in the seat. He had one hand on his bare stomach, the other rested casually on his hip. His body was all arcs and angles . . . graceful, powerful.

“Fucking beautiful.” Eddie and Kevin continued to share him. There was plenty of Adam for two. From Adam’s perspective, he could no longer distinguish who was stroking, who was sucking and licking. His body was awash with pleasure, effervescent bubbles climbing his spine. He tangled his fingers in their hair and grappled for the backs of their shirt collars when it became impossible not to thrust up. Adam succumbed. The boys hungrily lapped him up, then kissed each other leaving no drop of Adam to waste.

Adam watched them bathe each other’s faces. He thought of Sauli, and was struck with such remorse, he flinched as if he had been struck. He breathed aloud, “I’m sorry.” Eddie didn’t know he wasn’t talking to them.

“No way! That was fucking amazing. Don’t worry about us. We have a . . . special spot at Charlie’s where we go . . .”

“Shhh. Don’t give away all our secrets.” They snickered and kissed again, so in love. Adam didn’t notice until then that the car was parked, and David was gone. Adam could hear bar noises muffled by distance and doors. He zipped his pants and combed his hair with shaking fingers.

“You all together, Adam?”

Adam’s voice came out raspy and crackled. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Yeah, I’m ready.” Adam followed close behind. His legs were wobbly. Kevin held the door for him. The wave of sound that spilled out onto the street was deafening. Adam’s senses were painfully acute. He had begun to sober and feared he might be sick.

Eddie shouted above the music. “Can we buy you a drink, Adam?!”

“Um, not yet. I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll catch up.”

“N’kay, see ya!”

Eddie and Kevin disappeared. Adam knew he wouldn't be missed. Adam found the bathroom and was further nauseated by the odor. He wet a paper towel in the sink and rubbed it over the back of his neck. He didn’t bother looking in the mirror. He wasn’t sure when he’d be able to look in the mirror again. Adam had no intention of joining the party. His night was over. He scanned the layout of the place. The bar was way on the other end of the dance floor beyond a maze of tables and skewed chairs. The bartenders were pouring drinks with two hands. Just opposite the bathrooms was some kind of coat check. A large, burly man sat on a stool there. He was watching Adam. Adam approached.

“Hi, can you help me?”

The man gave Adam a once over. “Is somebody bothering you?”

“No, it’s nothing like that. I need a cab.” The man wasn’t moving. “I know this sounds ridiculous, but I don’t know exactly where I am.”

“Well, you are in a predicament, then aren’t you?” He huffed the way sober people often do at the drunk ones and dug into his shirt pocket. He motioned for someone to come with the snap of his wrist. Out of nowhere, another huge guy took his place on the stool. “Come with me.” Adam followed the man onto the street. Out on the sidewalk, the street lights were much more revealing. The bouncer’s demeanor changed. He was almost friendly. “I can’t get any damned signal in there.”

“That happens to me all the time. I take a lot of my calls outside. You’d think, the better the phone, the better your signal, but it isn’t really like that. I don’t even think 4G is clearly available much of anywhere.” Adam was aware of his nervous chatter and willed himself with effort to shut the fuck up.

The bouncer spoke into his phone. “Hey . . . Yup, Charlie’s. I need a cab for a patron. Is 203 available? . . . Uh-huh. VIP.” Adam glanced up. “Good.” The man put his phone away. “It’ll be about fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you.” Adam’s nausea abated in the fresh air. “You don’t have to wait out here with me.”

“I think I should.” Then the man extended his hand. “I’m Dennis.”

“Hi, Dennis. I’m Adam.”

“I know who you are. I worked security at the Paramount last summer when your tour came through.”

“You saw my show?”

“Yeah. It’s not my kind of music, but you’ve got a lot of talent. You’re a good singer.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ve never seen an audience that worked up. You really got ‘em going.”

“I remember that show. It was hot, like a sauna in there, right?”

“Yeah, it’s old . . . got a ventilation problem.”

“But, the crowd was great. They were so into it, I wanted to give them my best.”

“I could see that.”

"There was a big party afterward. It was crazy."

There was a brief lull in the conversation as they both looked out at the cityscape. “So what brought you to Denver this time?”

“I’m doing some session work, some studio recordings.”

“You making a new album.”

“Yup. I thought I’d sample some of the night life. It must get rowdy around here pretty often.”

“Sometimes. I’m surprised you didn’t try JR’s. It’s got a more refined atmosphere for a gentleman like yourself.”

Adam thought that a refined gentleman doesn’t let two strangers suck him off in the back of a Hummer. “Well, I don’t know how refined I am, but I did start the night at JR’s.”

Dennis looked perplexed. “But, I saw you and your friends come in from the parking lot side.”

“Yeah.” Adam swallowed. “They gave me . . . a ride.”

“It’s none of my business. I wonder why you didn’t just walk over, though.”

“What?” Adam was confused.

Dennis pointed behind Adam. “JR’s is right there.” Adam spun around. He could see the sign not even half a block away. “Folks see the drag show on Thursdays then they come over here to get plastered.”

“Fuck.” It came out as a whisper, but Adam clamped his hand over his mouth anyway. They had punked him and taken advantage. “I’m so stupid.”

Dennis looked concerned. “Do you still have your wallet?”

“What? Oh, god.” Adam frantically patted down his pockets. There it was. He breathed again. “Yes. It’s here.”

Dennis patted his own pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. “You want a smoke?”

Adam couldn’t remember when he’d had a regular cigarette, but this seemed like a good time. “Yeah . . . yeah, I do. Thanks.” Dennis lit it for him while Adam shielded the flame. They sat on a bench that looked like it was more for curb appeal than actual sitting. Adam appreciated Dennis’ nonjudgmental silence. They didn’t speak anymore until the cab arrived. Adam ground the stub of his cigarette into the pillar receptacle. Then he extended his hand. “It was really nice to meet you, Dennis.”

“Likewise.”

Adam pulled some bills out of his wallet. “Thank you for waiting with me.” Adam attempted to tip the man.

“No, you don’t have to do that.”

“Are you sure? You went out of your way . . .”

“Naw, it’s okay. I’m going to get a hell of a lot of pleasure in kicking those two out on their asses later.”

Adam smiled sheepishly. “Not on my account, I hope.”

“That’s the real beauty of it. With this job, I don’t need a reason.” Adam continued to grin as Dennis opened the cab door for him. “If you come back to the Paramount . . .”

“I will. Maybe I’ll see you.”

Dennis nodded. “Take care of yourself, Mr. Lambert.”

“Good-bye.” Adam told the driver his hotel. He folded his arms across his chest. The leather pendant dug into his flesh. He absolutely refused to cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam woke with a hangover, but it was manageable. He ordered a bloody mary from room service and swallowed four aspirins. He showered again even though he had scrubbed himself pink under scalding water before he went to bed. He dressed semi-casual for the light agenda ahead. He would give his regards to Tedder, meet with Jill, and fly home. He stopped midway through shaving to look, really look at his reflection. “Get a grip, Adam.”

Adam came out of the bathroom perfectly coiffed. He picked up his phone. He had a text message from his dad who wanted to see him, and a voicemail from Lane full of anxiety and appeal. There was a reminder about an upcoming photo shoot and that he owed a journalist an interview. Adam felt pulled in several directions. On top of everything, he still needed to return Jordan’s phone call about DMG. It was too much. He scrolled through his contacts and flicked his thumb on a number.

When Sauli answered the phone, he was in the middle of another conversation. He sounded happy. “Hello, Adam!”

“Sauli?” Adam pinched his eyes shut. “It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“Are you all right?”

Already, Adam was unable to mask his mood. “I’m fine.”

“Are you home yet?”

“No, I’m leaving in a few hours.”

“I’ll be home soon, too.” Adam didn’t say anything so he added, “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Sauli, I did something stupid, and I have to tell you.”

“All right.” The laughter in his voice was gone. He excused himself to his present company. “I’m listening.”

“I went to a bar last night.”

“A cowboy bar?”

“What do you mean?”

“Isn’t Colorado full of cowboys?”

“Sort of, but this was a gay bar with a drag show.”

“Was it good?”

“It was all right. Sauli, I have to get this out.”

“You seem so serious.”

“Yeah, I know. So, I went to this bar and had a few drinks with some guys.

“Were they cute?”

Adam sighed heavily. “Yes, but that’s not important. This is so hard.”

“Go on.”

“After the show a couple of them wanted to go to another bar, and I went with them. Things kind of got out of control.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“No.”

“Were you robbed?”

“No. That’s not what I meant.” Adam was in agony. He took another deep breath. “They . . . performed oral sex on me.” Adam winced. There had to be a better way to say it, but nothing came to mind.

Adam could hear Sauli’s breath hitch. It was excruciating. Then he heard Sauli squeak. There was no mistaking it. “Are you laughing?” Having failed to stifle it, Sauli cackled. Adam went from shock to guarded amusement. Finally Sauli stopped wheezing. Adam was mildly annoyed. “Are you done?”

“Yes, I’m done. I’m sorry, Adam.”

“You’re sorry! I’m the one who’s trying to apologize! It isn’t funny.”

“You’re right. It isn’t funny. The way you said it, though.”

“Well, how exactly should I say something like that?”

“I don't know, but you were so dramatic, I thought it was going to be something horrible. Is that all that happened?”

“Is that all?! Sauli, I feel terrible.”

“You should feel bad. You should never have gone out with strangers. What if they had been mean to you? I hate to think about it.”

“This is so mortifying. I don’t even know why I did it.”

“Didn’t you want to go with them?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Then why did you go?”

“It didn’t seem stupid until afterward. I’m so sorry, Sauli.”

“Listen to me, Adam. After Big Brother, I did many stupid things. One day I would be very strong, demanding this and that, a big bully. The next day, I would be weak and let others hurt me. My family said I was two people. This is you, I think.”

“I don’t want to be like this. I don’t know what to do.”

“For a long time, my life belonged to others. I had to get control even though I knew some people would not understand. I stopped worrying about them. I set my mind on what I wanted, and I wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Adam noticed a pattern. He heard his own voice at the end of GNT when things seemed clearer. ‘When someone tells you no, say fuck you!’ Adam let out a long breath and drew an imaginary line on the desktop with his finger. “There’s something else, about work. I’ve been given an opportunity, but it’s risky. I’m afraid to make a decision because I don’t want to keep making mistakes.”

“I think maybe when you make mistakes, it’s still the right thing. Your mistakes don’t stop you. If your heart tells you to do this, then go for it.”

“You know me so well, Sauli. Just when I think I can’t love you more . . .”

“I love you too.”

“Aren’t you mad about the blow job? Didn’t I hurt you?”

“Do I have a reason to be jealous?”

“No reason at all. None.”

“They weren’t as good as I am, were they?”

“No, baby, not even close.”

“Then I’m not the one you hurt.” Adam couldn’t respond. “I know how much you love me, Adam. Promise to love yourself better.”

Adam swallowed a lump in his throat. “I promise.”

“Now, tell me about these cowboys.”

“They weren’t actually cowboys, Sauli.”

“But this is how I want to imagine them . . . plaid shirts with boots and belt buckles.”

A sly smile spread across Adam’s lips. “Unbelievable. You’re fantasizing about this?”

“I can’t help it. It’s hot.”

“How can you be real?”

Sauli was eager to show Adam just how real he was and texted a picture of his body. They shared rather graphically what they intended to do to each other when they could be home again. When they finally hung up, Adam felt the strength only the blessing of true love could afford. He trusted that the good fortune in his personal life may have affected his career for the better. Adam had one last phone call to make. Before he lost his nerve, Adam quickly dialed again.

“Good morning, Mr. Lambert.”

“Hi, is this Jordan?”

“Yes, I’m so glad you called.”

“I’ve made my decision. I want in.”

“Excellent. I’ll get the ball rolling. Do you have any questions for me?”

“I’m sure I will. Right now, I feel like I just won something and told a camera, ‘I’m going to Disneyland!’”

“I assure you this isn’t make-believe, Adam, but I think you’ll find it’s the Happiest Place on Earth.”


End file.
